People who have been deeply involved
in cross-cultural ministry have a variety of needs to address
when returning “home.” Upon re-entry some are
excited, some dread the exhausting “home leave”
itinerary, others are fatigued by their ministries, and still
others are confused about what lies ahead.
Regardless of the circumstances, most people
find it beneficial to be in an environment where they can
reflect on the impact of their past experiences and gain perspective
on the future.
That’s where DAR comes in.
What Is DAR?
(DAR for Kids/Teens = CHIPs)
DAR stands for:
Debriefing
(our cross-cultural experiences)
And
Renewal (evoked by a community
that understands)
DAR is a one-week program designed to help you
and your family debrief your past experiences and adjust to
the next transition, wherever that may be.
As a missionary you know the heavy responsibilities
required of you on the field. In most cases you came “home”
with little time to reflect on how you have changed while
you’ve been away. Re-entry can make you feel out of
place where home no longer seems like home. Veteran and short-term
missionaries often say this experience is much harder than
their initial transition to another culture.
DAR provides a safe and confidential place for
you to reflect on the issues that have touched you deeply.
It involves more than talking about your field experiences,
although that’s the place it begins. Quality debriefing
can lead to renewal. Insights gained from reflecting on your
field experience will invariably affect your future decisions.
Going through this time of transition with other
cross-cultural workers is vital. The insight gained from those
with similar experiences provides both a sense of being understood
as well as a fresh, objective perspective. The groups are
kept small so that individual reflection and discussion can
be meaningful.
The primary emphasis is on recognizing God’s
hand in past events and anticipating the next step for which
God is preparing you.
Who should come to DAR?
The DAR program is designed for cross-cultural
workers who are going through a time of transition. This includes
but is not limited to:
- Singles or families returning from field
on furlough or home assignment
- Tentmakers, international business people,
or non-traditional missionaries who are in transition
- Relief and development workers who are between
assignments
- Short-term missionaries
- Any cross-cultural workers returning permanently
Although most of these cross-cultural workers
have experienced significant stressors and sometimes trauma,
the same community of workers tends to minimize the impact
of living in a different culture. DAR is not just for people
with problems. It is designed for everyone going through a
transition as a routine part of ongoing, personal and professional
development.
What are recent participants saying
about DAR?
"We have been missionaries for 13 years
but this type of debriefing and renewal has been long overdue…
all missionaries with any mission board need to go through
DAR.”
"I’m especially thankful to the
‘field-experienced’ trainers – for sharing
vulnerably with practical wisdom that only comes from living
overseas and knowing that God can work in the good times and
the bad times.”
"To be honest, I came for my wife and
kids thinking it was rather expensive. But if it wasn’t
for this week, my family and I would have walked around in
a fog for a long time and it was well worth every penny spent.”
"I found most helpful the openness
that was allowed in sharing, the relaxed schedule which facilitated
a wonderful community, and the honesty in speaking on difficult,
heart-level topics.”
Why is debriefing for our kids and as
a family so important?
When kids acquire a variety of cross-cultural
and re-entry experiences that are too hard to explain to others
who have never “been there,” they often shut down
or lock up relationally. Although this is also true of adults,
it can be especially paralyzing or confusing for kids. Debriefing
with other kids who have “been there,” along with
CHIPs facilitators who put names to common reactions, often
liberates and unlocks the MK’s positive outlook on life
and the sense of being loved and cared for by God.
It is amazing how members of the same family,
sharing the same experiences, can have such different internal
reactions. The problem is that the hectic pace of life in
cross-cultural ministry often drowns out the exploration and
valuing of each family member’s perspective. That’s
where CHIPs–DAR comes in. Both the adult DAR facilitators
and CHIPs–DAR staff will equip you to use some of the
relaxed evenings to reconnect as a family.
Should I come to DAR if my mission provides
a debriefing?
Definitely – as each kind of debriefing
will likely complement the other. MTI’s debriefing is
designed to create a safe, confidential environment where
you can process your private experiences, thoughts and feelings
first – setting the stage for relational, team or organizational
debriefing.
Our experience is that about half of what people
reflect upon at MTI – such as marital issues, team dynamics,
authority issues, and private joys and struggles – would
not be openly or readily shared with anyone from their agency
until they have first processed their raw reactions. Relational,
team and organization debriefing, as accomplished by your
mission, is a vital aspect of your ongoing vitality and development,
BUT without personal debriefing it can become an exercise
in administrative trivia.
What is at stake if I don’t
find somewhere for personal debriefing?
What’s at stake is your personal health
and your vision for the future. Generally speaking the missions
‘culture’ tends to minimize or deny the insidious
impact of high levels of prolonged adjustment and the many
threatened or actual minor traumas. We tend to say to ourselves,
“Isn’t every missionary in the same boat, going
through the same things – what makes me so different
that I should get debriefed?”
The result is that you may come home in a fog.
Without being able to put your finger on the cause, you may
feel disjointed and unable to assimilate all the things you’ve
experienced, as well as the ways in which you’ve changed.
This fog has a way of clouding decisions and personal renewal
– and can lead to everything from major depression to
vocational floundering to family disintegration.
REGISTER for DAR |
